Having baseball withdrawal yet? Me too. But it is never too soon to begin thinking about the upcoming baseball season. Anytime a new season is on the horizon, the chance to start over and hopes of success in the coming year breed anticipation.
It is this time of year that Phillies fans should sit down and make a practical list of important New Year Resolutions. Here are a few to get you started:
1. Be thankful that you are not a Mets fan. If you run into one, give them a hug. They really need it.
2. When at a game, be mindful of your children. If I wanted slimy, saliva-tainted cotton candy goo in my hair, I would have put it there myself.
3. Please refrain from cussing out loud at the game. There are children all around with sensitive ears. However, if their nasty, cotton-candy goo-infested hands land on you, this rule no longer applies.
4. We can all stop booing Jayson Werth now for moving to D.C.. His .232 batting average last season is punishment enough.
5. Start a petition to award Roy Halladay with the Presidential Medal of Freedom for his bravery in saving a man in the Amazon after an anaconda attack. Could this guy be any more awesome? I think not. I have been up close and personal with such large snakes and can tell you, for Halladay to put himself in danger to save this guy was no small feat. And yes, that is really me in the photo.
6. On Dollar Dog Night, limit yourself to a five dog maximum. Take the other $15 dollars you saved and donate it to Phillies Charities. Your stomach will thank you.
7. I pledge to spend more of my offseason time supporting the Philadelphia Flyers and the 76ers. They have young, exciting teams and also deserve our support. (Do not talk to me about the Eagles though…ugh).
8. Do not yell at the umpires for being blind. The Americans With Disabilities Act says that blindness is a handicap and therefore, it is politically incorrect to poke fun at blind people.
9. For God’s sake, stop spilling your beer at games! The puddles created from the morons behind you flow downward and under your seat, soaking whatever bags you laid there. If you cannot avoid spilling your drinks, please go back to Kindergarten and relearn this skill.
10. Be kind to people, even if they suck or are cheering for an opposing team. You will eventually get back what you give.
I wish you all a safe and happy New Year!
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Photo by Jenn Zambri Photography