The Phillies Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, when all over the field,
Not a player was stirring, as the 2011 season had been sealed.
The bats were stacked in the clubhouse with care,
In hopes that a Championship soon would be there.
The Phillies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of trophies danced in their heads.
And Ruben with his new closer contract tucked under his cap,
Had just settled down for a long off-season nap.
When out in Charlie’s house, there arose such a clatter,
He sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he stumbled, half asleep,
Having woke from a nightmare of his bullpen being taken deep.
The moonlight lit up the old ’08 trophy, causing it to glow
And gave the illusion of a night game on the grass down below.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh filled with ballplayers in good cheer.
With his General Manager, ace pitchers in tow,
He knew in a moment it must be Ruben Amaro.
More rapid than the trade deadline, forward they all came,
And he grumbled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now, Utley! Now, Howard! Now, Rollins and Victorino!
On, Ruiz! On, Halladay! On, Pence and Polanco!
To the top of the National League! To the top of them all!
Now run away! Run away! And play some baseball!”
And then, in a twinkling, Charlie heard, “You The Man!”
From the shouting and cheering of each happy fan.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney J-Roll came with a bound.
He was dressed all in pinstripes, from his head to his foot,
Having tossed his old contract, which was tarnished, with ashes and soot.
But he arrived with a smile and Charlie gave him a pat on his back,
Surely the new 3-year deal would put this team right back on track.
J-Roll spoke many words, but getting on with his job,
He welcomed Jonathan Papelbon, whose new deal has him living high on the hog.
And with thunderous joy, the fans clapped their hands,
With a few shiny new toys, 2011 is sure to be grand!
J-Roll then sprang to the sleigh, and to his team gave a call,
“You guys are the best ballplayers of all!”
But Charlie heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Happy HoLEEday’s to all and to all a good night!”
Re-wording & photoshopping by Jenn