The Phillies lost the first of a 4-game series with the lowly Mets last night behind another sad performance from Cole Hamels. No one knows where the real Hamels is hiding, but I hope someone finds him quickly because this imposter is just not working out. Hamels got roughed up by a Mets team that is so bad, they resemble a minor league ball club. Ten hits, 4 runs and 5 innings later, his night was done.
Hamels has been so bad lately that he is making the pitcher’s mound look like a crime scene. Can someone please call CSI and ask them to dust for prints so we can get rid of this Hamels look-alike? In four starts this month, the imposter Hamels is sporting a 6.75 ERA and a sickening record of 0-3. Quite obviously, there is foul play involved. Arrest this criminal and bring us back the real Cole!
The offense must sense the treachery because they are now refusing to bail out this fake Hamels. Chase Utley went 2 for 4 with a walk and was also hit by a pitch, but still he refused to collect any RBI’s to help out! Jimmy Rollins had two hits as well, but if you thought he was going to step anywhere near home plate, think again. Ryan Howard and Pedro Feliz accidentally fell into one RBI each, but they soon realized the error of their ways and that ended the scoring. With 11 men left on base, it is clear this team will not support an imposter!
So until the real Hamels is found, we had all better start rooting for the other 4 starting pitchers. JA Happ will take the mound tonight at 7:10pm so the investigation will have to be postponed for now. But the Phillies need to hire a detective and solve this mystery soon! We are all waiting impatiently.
Hamels photo by Jenn